by Nicole LaGreca
This holiday season, like most – tend to be a little stressful. Family, young and old, near and far, new (I’m looking at you – baby sisters’ boyfriend) and not so new … gather together to celebrate a time of joy, and peace, and most of all – love.
Our family of 5 has grown significantly over the years, with this year’s table setting for 11 ranging from 1 ½ years old to 58. My Dad has been living with Aphasia for 7 years now. I will admit – those first few years were hard. No one quite knew how to accommodate his new speech, and personality – and especially as kids have come into the mix, it’s hard to ensure our attention is focused on him and included in conversation when we are all (as NJ Italian-Americans usually do) talking over each other and excited to finally be together.
But I know it’s those moments that are the most frustrating for him. He wants to follow along, but can’t – or jump in and give an opinion on a hot-topic, but can’t – or just read his grandkids T’was the Night before Christmas, but can’t.
So, as our family gets better with time, as will yours. We’ve learned some tricks over the years – things that we still work on, and always will, as a family. Here are some of our best to ensure your loved one is included and engaged through all of your holiday celebrations.
Bringing home your new boyfriend or girlfriend to meet your loved one for the first time?
- Tell your SO about your loved one and educate them on Aphasia
- Make sure your SO understands what communication devices work best, in order to engage (i.e. an iPad, Pen/Pad) in conversation
- Remind them to TALK SLOWLY and always, one at a time
- Educate your SO on what your loved one’s interests are, what their personality is like, and how they were before they lived with Aphasia – and how their life is different today.
- Bring a bottle of scotch (oh wait, is that just us?)
Helping to ensure your loved one can interact with the younger generation of the family
- Crafts are great: head to a craft store and pick up some age-appropriate (and handicapped appropriate, if needed) holiday-themed crafts for your loved one and children to do together
- If books are tough, download a “Santa app” on your loved ones’ mobile device or tablet. They will have so much fun checking out where Santa is on his trip from the North Pole to their house.
- Take out the old photo albums or home movies – make it a family event and reminisce while showing the children what everyone used to be like way back when.
- Play – words aren’t needed to be a super hero!
- Have the kids tell a story (my 3 year old will do all the talking…), help them learn how best to communicate to their loved one
Making sure your are getting the most out of your time together during the holiday
- Set aside some time for 1:1 conversation
- Keep the volume of the Christmas carols down (unless it’s Bruce’s Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town – then crank it up)
- Keep up traditions! Does your loved one always carve the turkey, or dress up as Santa? Try and help them keep those traditions alive, or if needed help tweak a bit.
- Play aphasia friendly games: Pictionary (+ additional time for loved one), Apples to Apples, Jenga, Connect Four
- Relax and watch a favorite Holiday movie together (we are partial to It’s a Wonderful Life, Christmas Vacation, and The Christmas Story)!
If it’s one thing we’ve learned over these last several years it is that even though things are different, we wouldn’t have it any other way and are just so thankful for our health, and the love we all have for each other. I hope your holiday is filled with happiness, and laughter and love.
Peace and love and happy holidays!
The Caputo, DeRose and LaGreca families